Most women really hate photos of themselves. We shy away from the camera - a captured expression of self-consciousness only compounds the problem! It is true though, that we become less critical of these photos some years later. This attitude is really stupid and seems like some kind of twisted vanity. It is only recently that I have found a solid explanation for it.

The source of the problem is indeed the oft-blamed media saturation with skinny models and beautiful celebrities. The same thing that is blamed for the common conditions of eating disorders and other body dysmorphic disorders. But it is not just a shallow wish to look like them. In fact it goes much deeper than that. It speaks to an inner gauge inside our minds, put there through evolution, which helps us assess our mate worthiness.

There is a primitive force that makes us compare ourselves to other women so we have an idea of our range of possible mates of the opposite sex. While many women can feel really quite nasty towards a more attractive female, those with a more balanced mental outlook don't get catty. At least we like to think we don't. But there is no doubt we all put ourselves vaguely in some kind of position on a scale. Men must also assess how good looking they are themselves, but ideas of male attractiveness to women vary a lot, and women tend to rate other things about men such as personality or status. So this is just a problem for women directly, and men indirectly.

Images of physically perfect women bombard us on a daily basis if we see adverts, magazines, television or any media whatsoever. We have evolved to take note of beautiful people because it speaks to a subconscious and primitive part of our brains. People of average attractiveness would like a mate more attractive, but realize the shortage and are happy with someone who is not in that category. These media images result in women rating themselves less attractive than they are, while giving men the impression that there are many gorgeous possibilities and so they don't consider the mate who is really is on their level - she pales by comparison.

A couple of examples of evidence supporting this are, for one, that it was found that a group of men asked to rank attractiveness of some photos of average women rated them lower if they had just been watching "Charlie's Angels" than a control group of men who had no similar stimulus. And then there is the observation that older male teachers specifically teaching in high schools and universities have less successful marriages and greater tendency to stay single - all because the constant presence of large numbers of young females in their prime makes them rate their aging wives less highly - and similarly makes other female possibilities not attractive enough. Meanwhile the young men in these institutions find very few of the women attractive, because they have had their standard skewed by media imagery. Psychologists refer to this as the "contrast effect".

The insecurity amongst women about their mate-worthiness is a blessing for the companies that make a killing from cosmetic enhancements that are used deceitfully to cause the anxiety in the first place. Women pay a fortune in their attempt to look as perfect as the photo-shopped, digitally altered and air-brushed models and celebrities that grace the magazine covers.

Although Kate Winslet made a point about how women should not diet to emulate skinny models, she herself then made an appearance on the cover of a men's magazine, with her legs substantially lengthened and waist nipped. This was publicized to show her up as a hypocrite, although she denied having had a say in it. Yet, very few pictures have not been altered almost as drastically as Cruella De Ville -sorry I mean Cherie Blair's portrait on the cover of her autobiography. To be fair, any male face on the front of a similar book would be just as likely to be aesthetically enhanced. We live in a world full of fakery.

Just look at these hilarious examples:

Gwyneth Paltrow on the cover of Vogue

Catherine Zeta Jones in an Elizabeth Arden cosmetic advert

Angelina Jolie long arms

Vogue transforms Kate Moss from blotchy to beautiful

In times gone by, we would have had only a tiny number of opposite sex acquaintances who were all we had to choose from for a spouse. The present dilemma is the unnatural wide choice coupled with the warped notion of many women looking like the falsified plastic glamour ideal that is completely unrealistic. The harmful effect on personal relationships caused by this impacts on society, causing much unhappiness. Is there a solution?

At its root, the problem is the materialist decadence that pervades our culture, turning people into products and consumers and viewing each other as such. While we live in a society based on those values people are corrupted. As individuals, you and I can reject the conditioning and try to become aware of the manipulative effects on our subconscious. Not an easy task. It is important for women not to compare ourselves to the ubiquitous artificial images of flawless "beauty" that are thrown at us, just as it is necessary for men to cease consumption of those images, in porn and elsewhere. The hope is that both sexes will have a realistic appreciation of each other, and have an opportunity to have relationships that are satisfying and fruitful.

by Victoria McMagnus

August 26, 2008