A new study released this week by the American Convenience Organization revealed that as many as 45% of obese people in America are being systematically discriminated against because of their weight. "It's worse than racism," said spokesperson Angus Q. Bluberi. "These people are denied a chance at housing, jobs, love... the American Dream."

The findings have sparked outrage among civil rights activists as African Americans, the traditional targets of civil rights activism, are being abandoned in a quest to address the discrimination against this new group.

"This is the struggle for my generation," said Jenny Fontaine, 17, rail-thin. "Fat people are paid so little they're basically slaves. Unlike the disabled, who have ramps outside every building, they're forced to climb steps and sit in chairs designed for thin people. It's clear bigotry."

Hundreds of thousands of obese Americans are now filing lawsuits against the companies that they feel have in one way or another offended them. Mike Glance, 35, 432 pounds, is one of the victims:

"Wal-Mart is one gigantic racist conspiracy against the obese. First they forced me to work as an office attendant because I couldn't fit between the aisles in the store. Like it would cost them to make the aisles bigger. I heard people snicker all day long, and I found a jumprope -- the obese person's equivalent of a noose -- on my locker. Eventually, my office chair broke and I was fired. I was consistently paid less than thinner coworkers."

Thousands of morbidly obese people planned a civil rights demonstration yesterday in Michigan, but unfortunately owing to higher than average temperatures, only about 40 sweaty activists were able to attend, thanks to a forklift donated by Rutger van der Eete, a wealthy Dutch BBW porn director.